20090411

Force in Readiness

So I'm stationed in a completely different country. I've been taken out of my safety bubble, and put in a situation that's either pass or fail. But, we all know that I won't take failure as an option. If at first you don't succeed...get up off your ass and keep fighting the good fight.

It's funny, because the more I think about it, the more I realize that life doesn't care how you do. If you utterly fail at life, it still continues. There's no pause button. There's no rewind. Even though there are things that I'm not proud of, I can't take them back, so I have to take the blows life's given me, and throw some back of my own. I'm not looking for the cure-all, but I'm not trying to just skate on by, either.

As a Marine, I'm supposed to be ready to deploy anywhere in the world within 48-72 hours. Such is the case, even if I am in a shitty unit. There's nothing that I can really do about it, especially being a Junior Marine. But, I can always try to take a shitty situation and make it less shitty. As the posters go: "I Didn't Promise You A Rose Garden". Fuck roses, anyways...they're overrated.

"Remember Where You Came From": what a good ghetto proverb to live by. Remember the struggles my mom had to go through raising me as a single parent. Remember where I was and how far I've come. Now isn't the time for a relapse. Sure, certain things that people say to me bring me down, and they always will. But, I can always use their derogatory statements as motivation. It's easy to turn tears into sweat, it's just a matter of how you look at things. The more that you sweat in war, means you'll bleed less in war. Learn it, love it, and live by it. If "love is a battlefield", then so is life. Thank God I'm on the winning team.

I think it's time that I stop taking this whole situation as it as and being go-with-the-flow, and start playing some of those famous "fuck-fuck" games. I feel like I'm surrounded by shitbags, but it doesn't mean I have to be just like them. They chose their path, I just have to blaze my own. I just have to take that path less traveled. So that way, my higher-ups can see that I can do their job better, and I can come out top dog. I'll run the dog pound if I have things my way.

Semper Fidelis

20090317

Lucky 13

"I can't be home tonight, I'll make it back its alright
No one could ever love me half as good as you"

Since the last time I've been on here, a whole lot has happened, both positive, and negative. With respect to each, I thought that I'd take a moment to update.

As everyone may already know, I've been kicking names and taking ass, all while trying to find my niche in the world. These last couple of months have been especially "challenging", both physically and mentally, with an emphasis on the mind-fucking.

Although I would love to say that I love life, in my line of work death is something that I have to deal with on a somewhat-regular basis. As such, I've had to deal with more friends moving onto the Afterlife. I'll admit it hurts to see a friend pass, but I've learned that there isn't much that you can do. Once you're ticket is up, Death comes and cashes in. He "always gets His".

Fort "Lost in the Woods", Missouri: fuck you and your meth-infected hick towns. Enough said about that shithole.

As for the love life...wow. Let's just say that she makes me love life. For once I've found myself :gasp: committing. I never thought that I would say that word ever again, let alone remember what it meant, however, she she's through my bullshit and brings out the best in me: a side that I never show. She keeps me on my toes, and always keeps the gears turning. Even though I'm fiercely private about my personal life, I just want the World to know how happy she makes me, and how lucky I am to have her in my life. No more cigarettes or alcohol: she's my new addiction. Standby, because once I get my sword, the games end and the real fun begins.

I'm going to miss my family over these next two years more than I'd like to admit. It hurts to think about the times that we don't see eye-to-eye, which is almost everyday. Those aren't the memories that I'd like to remember them by, but they're better than nothing, right? So much blood, sweat, and tears went into my 18+ years at home that I swear it's painted into the walls, but I'm finally glad to say that I'm somewhat established on my own in the real world. I don't have to rely on anything or anybody else to take care of me, and finally have some arm candy. It doesn't hurt that I'm a Marine, either.

So even though this It's the middle of March, and it's a little late for New Year's resolutions, I'm still starting over new. Starting from scratch, and this time I won't fuck it up, you can bet money on it.